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I find myself checking out other women constantly, imagining their body against mine, their nipples between my lips, their warm pussy against mine, their soft kisses. I‘be always been attracted to women, more so now than ever. No more dick! I’ve not ducked my husband in 12 years and not had a boyfriend in 7 years. And that makes me feel worse, than I felt before this happened. This morning, when I woke up, and started rewinding, I realised, that was a pitty hj. She left, smiling, and I felt good about myself. She reached for my pants, and gave me a hand job. So I blurred out, that I live a life of a monk, mourned my non existing sex life, and than it happened. I was just listening, consoling her, and after she was over, she asked me about my troubles. I guess the booze loosened her up, and she was bitching for an hour about her ex husband, her miserable life, how she will die alone etc. Long story short, last night we were sitting at my place, drinking wine, when confessions started. It evolved in a nice friendship, and I did have those thoughts about her, even though she is not the prettiest flower in the garden (her only advantage might be that she is not fat), but I quickly supressed them, since it was obvious she wasnt into me, in that way. She thought I was gay at the start, when I asked her why, she answered that she never saw any girl coming to my flat, only guys (my friends). Well, I have a neighbour, some five years younger than me, divorced, and we are both lonely I guess, so we started hanging out.
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I am not into hookers, so, that is pretty much it. I am a porn addict, obviously, since I am here, and, in a way, I wrote myself off, regarding the future of my sex life. Well, that is the time my previous (and only) relationship ended, so, as you see, my game is practically zero. I am in my 40s, and I havent had sex for five years. Ok, may sound pathetic, but here it goes.